In their own words, mother Desiree Thompson and daughter Anahera, 14, talked to Monica Holt about life with autism, their summer holiday, and Anahera’s hopes and ambitions.    

Rotorua’s Desiree Thompson took this photo of her daughter Anahera at Tolaga Bay. The photo was judged the winner in Parent to Parent’s summer photo competition.

Since Anahera was very young we knew she was extremely clever but had a lot of trouble with social skills and expressing her emotions. We learnt quite early on that she just saw the world in a different way than most.  She was diagnosed ASD around age 11.

We’ve never really seen ASD as a weakness or limit to Anahera’s abilities, more just a way of being,  and while it has not always been easy,  if anything,  Anahera has taught us so many lessons in life that have shaped us into new and better people, with more patience, resilience and understanding.

Anahera colours my world. She is her own person, beautiful inside and out. She has an awesome personality, a great sense of humour and she knows that she can do anything she sets her mind to and we will support her.

I am extremely lucky to have such amazing support from my mother and husband. My extended family has been a huge support and I couldn’t have done it without them all.  Our job as parents is to love unconditionally and accept, understand and support our children; in whatever it is they aspire to do, wherever, whenever.

Desiree is part of Parent to Parent’s Central Lakes network of parents who meet and attend workshops.

Anahera

Tena koutou katoa
Ko Titirangi me Tiheia oku maunga
Ko Tereanini me TeArawa oku waka

Ko Te-Aitanga-A-Hauiti me Te Arawa oku iwi
Ko Te Aitanga a Hauiti me Ngati Rangiwewehi oku hapu
Ko Hauiti me Tarimano oku marae
Ko Ruakapanga me Tawakeheimoa oku whare tipuna
Ko Hauiti me Rangiwewehi nga tangata

Ko Vernon raua ko Desiree Johnson aku mātua
Ko Vee raua ko Viv aku tungane

Ko Layla taku teina
Ko Anahera toku ingoa.

My mum has been going to Tolaga Bay since she was a little girl to visit our Koro, Russell John Te Aotata Thompson. His whānau have lived in Tolaga Bay for many generations.  My Kui (grandmother) tells stories about when she was younger and would travel to Tolaga Bay with her siblings to see her grandparents, or about the little bach that is still being used at the end of my Koro’s driveway that my great-great-grandad built when he came back from World War I.

Our family is lucky to have deep-rooted connections to Tolaga Bay and a place that will always be home. It is our own little piece of paradise.

I usually go a few times a year with my Kui and Mum. Sometimes it’s just for a weekend, but we mostly go during Christmas holidays.

This summer I spent around two weeks in Tolaga Bay before my Koro’s unveiling. I have a really big, close-knit family – so lots of aunties, uncles and cousins who all came down later to be together for the unveiling.

Tolaga Bay is a small town just out of Gisborne. It’s a long drive from home. We usually stop for lunch at the beach in Opotiki or try to spot waterfalls when we go through the Waioeka Gorge.  Tolaga doesn’t have many shops but the town is full of nice scenery. The people are friendly, everybody knows each other and one shop has the best candy floss ice cream!  We got to have rides on my uncle’s boat this time.  It was heaps of fun.

I like to spend time at the two beaches exploring and swimming or boogie boarding. The Tolaga Bay Historical Wharf is my favourite. The wharf is 660m long and is nice to walk down. It’s a really good spot for practising my photography, and it always has nice waves for boogie boarding.  I like to go exploring, looking for shells, rocks, driftwood and sea creatures that have washed up.  I found a lemon shark one day – that was really cool.

Blue Waters Beach is further along and has jellyfish and stingrays sometimes.
That’s where the ‘winning’ photo was taken.  My family and I were all out swimming when we spotted two jellyfish. I put my boogie board under one of the jellyfish and brought it out to show my mum. She was pretty scared of it, but I thought it was cute!

I like animals and would really like to see penguins someday. I’d also like to see the Titanic!

I really enjoy taking photos of different landscapes and patterns in nature and am learning photography and art.  I’m learning to play keyboard and love listening to and learning about music.  I like to unicycle and would love to get a stunt one.

I am Year 10 at high school and have chosen art, music and photography as my options. One day I would like to be a daycare or kindergarten teacher.

I was excited to know we had won the photo competition and the $100 Prezzy® card. We will probably use it to go out for lunch and some shopping next time we go to Kmart. Maybe some new headphones and art gear. Thanks Parent to Parent!

Originally printed in Parent to Parent’s March 2018 magazine. Visit Parent to Parent website.