Laughing, talking 

Stimming, fidgeting 

Neurodivergent joy 

Food and talks 

Learning more about how our brains work 

An impromptu karaoke session 

A sensory friendly movie session 

Autistics and ADHDers alike, relating to one another. 

A sense that we’re not alone. 

These are just some of the things we experienced during our two-day workshop, By Misfits For Misfits, held on March 15 and 16, 2024, at the Creative Community Campus and Village Community Cinema. 

Tamara Grant, pictured left, is a member of the Misfits. Emma Cox, pictured right, shares her story in this article.

I’ll try not to share *too much* of my story because you’re already going to read a lot of it in the booklet– but I thought I’d share a little bit about my journey into this beautiful neurodivergent community here in Tauranga, and about the event we just held. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Emma, 27 years old and I am Autistic 🙂  

It all started in 2020 when I delved into understanding autism and its implications for me. Even though I was diagnosed at a young age (around four), I spent most of my life feeling ashamed of my neurodiversity. I reached out to a support group called Aspergers Connections (now Spectrum Connections) in Tauranga, for parents/whānau of Autistic / neurodivergent children.

I was incredibly nervous at my first meeting, fearing judgement as “the Autistic one.” One by one, the parents went around and shared their experiences, and then it got to me. My heart was beating so fast. I hadn’t gone to anything autism related since I was a kid so it was pretty confronting to me! Not only that, but for the first time, I had to accept and come to terms with the fact that I am Autistic and that it was okay. 

Through this group, I connected with parents of teens and young adults on similar journeys, realising the shared isolation and lack of community. I kept meeting more and more of them and I wanted to find a way to bring them together somehow! This inspired me to create the Island of Misfits in December 2020, a discussion group providing belonging and conversations on life, faith and worldviews for neurodivergent or marginalised teens and young adults. We eat together, make connections and have discussions about different topics. We want to discuss the big questions of life and go deeper together.

Participants enjoying the ‘By Misfits For Misfits’ workshop.

I want to help people know that they can be proud of who they are, that autism isn’t something to be ashamed of but actually something to be embraced. I spent far too much of my life feeling such immense shame for being myself… I wanted to create a space where people could discover their true identity- that they are loved and valued as they are, but also where they could talk openly about their worldviews and about some of the challenges that come with neurodiversity. 

Since its inception, the Island of Misfits has blossomed into a thriving community. We’ve had the privilege of hosting two workshops: By Autistics For Autistics, in 2022, and Misfits For Misfits in March 2024. Both events were organised by a committee formed from Island of Misfits members. It has been amazing to see people in the group gaining ownership, stepping up in leadership, and bringing our welcoming culture to the wider neurodivergent community. Both events were such relational and welcoming environments for all attendees. 

Contrary to stereotypes, Autistics are capable of empathy and forming deep relationships. Through these events, we have witnessed the power of safe spaces that accommodate neurodivergent needs, where those who are neurodiverse are free to belong and build relationships. You’ll be surprised by how relational and social we can be! We just need the right support and spaces to thrive. I am excited to see how this community grows over the next few years, in Tauranga and beyond.

There was a chance for everyone to share their unique experiences.

My encouragement to you is that if you have a vision to start a group or an event like this, just go for it! Despite initial nerves or doubts, you never know what incredible outcomes may emerge. Four years ago when I first started making connections in the community, I could never have imagined the impact of the connections I made. 

I hope the stories shared in this booklet offer encouragement to our beautiful neurodivergents! Remember, you are not alone!